People Are Using AI to Flirt on Dating Apps—Then Disappointing Their Dates

People Are Using AI to Flirt on Dating Apps—Then Disappointing Their Dates

2025-07-15Technology
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纪飞
Good morning 老张, I'm 纪飞, and this is Goose Pod for you. Today is Wednesday, July 16th.
国荣
And I'm 国荣. Today, we’re diving into a very modern dating dilemma: People Are Using AI to Flirt on Dating Apps—Then Disappointing Their Dates.
纪飞
Let's get started. We're seeing a fascinating and slightly absurd trend where people use AI chatbots, like ChatGPT, to sound charming on dating apps. They craft these witty, thoughtful messages that get them dates, but then the magic vanishes in person.
国荣
Exactly! The Washington Post told the story of a 31-year-old named Richard Wilson. He connected with someone whose texts were delightful and caring. But on the actual date? A total disaster! The person couldn't maintain a simple conversation at all. It was a classic AI catfish.
纪飞
This situation arises from two parallel developments: the evolution of dating apps and the advancement of AI. The online dating market is massive, projected to hit over three billion dollars in revenue by next year, with nearly half a billion users expected by 2029.
国荣
It’s a huge part of modern life! So, these platforms were already using technology to help people connect. It sounds like the users just decided to take the tech into their own hands, right? From AI matchmaking to AI ghostwriting your love letters.
纪飞
Precisely. Dating apps already use AI for profile optimization, suggesting better photos or bios, and running complex matchmaking algorithms. They analyze everything. Now, users are simply leveraging consumer-facing AI to handle the communication part, aided by third-party apps like Rizz and Wing AI.
国荣
So the apps use AI to introduce you, and then you use AI to talk. It's like a double layer of robotics before you even meet! It’s meant to help shy or busy people, but it seems to be creating a whole new problem instead.
纪飞
And that's the core conflict. AI creates a flawless, idealized version of a person, smoothing over any rough edges. This either makes an abrasive personality falsely appealing or sets a standard that the real person can't possibly meet in a face-to-face conversation. It's a recipe for disappointment.
国荣
It’s such a strange form of deception! You’re not lying about your job or your height, you’re outsourcing your entire personality. Richard Wilson’s second date just confirmed it for him; the charming person from the texts simply wasn't there in real life. The authenticity was gone.
纪飞
The ethical debate centers on this. Is it a tool to overcome shyness, or is it a fundamental misrepresentation? Experts agree that while AI might get your foot in the door, real human-to-human authenticity is what sustains any potential relationship. The AI can't fake that for you.
国荣
And it feels like a waste of everyone's time. The person using the AI can't build a real connection, and the person they're meeting is being misled. It’s a lose-lose situation built on a foundation of clever, but ultimately hollow, words.
纪飞
The broader impact is a growing erosion of trust in the dating scene. It contributes to what many call "dating app burnout." In fact, dating app usage has recently declined, with some reports showing a loss of 750,000 users in the UK over the past year.
国荣
That makes sense. If you have to wonder whether you’re talking to a person or their AI assistant, it just adds another layer of exhaustion to the process. It makes the search for a genuine connection feel even more superficial and difficult than it already is.
纪飞
Looking forward, this trend might become even more integrated. The founder of Bumble predicted a future with “AI dating concierges,” where your AI could talk to other AIs to find you a compatible match before you even have to interact with anyone.
国荣
My robot will vet your robot? That sounds efficient, I guess, but also incredibly detached. It moves further away from the messy, spontaneous, and human process of actually getting to know someone. It's a strange future to imagine.
纪飞
That's the end of today's discussion. Thank you for listening to Goose Pod.
国荣
See you tomorrow.

Here's a comprehensive summary of the provided news article: ## AI-Assisted Dating: The Charm Fades in Real Life **News Title:** People Are Using AI to Flirt on Dating Apps—Then Disappointing Their Dates **Publisher:** Vice Media **Author:** Luis Prada **Published Date:** July 10, 2025 This report from Vice Media, citing The Washington Post, highlights a growing trend in the dating scene where individuals are leveraging AI chatbots like ChatGPT to craft charming and witty messages for dating apps. While this AI assistance can be effective in securing dates, the article reveals a significant disconnect when these individuals meet their matches in person, as they often fail to replicate the AI-generated persona. ### Key Findings and Conclusions: * **The AI-Generated Persona vs. Reality:** A central theme is that AI chatbots create an idealized, "smoothed-off" version of a person, which can be misleading. While AI can help individuals who are "too busy, shy, or abrasive" to initiate conversations, this artificial charm does not translate to in-person interactions. * **Richard Wilson's Experience:** The article features Richard Wilson, a 31-year-old, as a case study. He experienced a disastrous first date after exchanging "long, thoughtful messages" with someone who appeared delightful and caring via AI. In person, this individual struggled to maintain a simple conversation, indicating a complete lack of the personality displayed in the texts. A second date confirmed that the "outsourcing of their personality was too obvious," with none of the textual charm present in real life. * **Third-Party Apps Facilitating AI Use:** Apps like Rizz and Wing AI are mentioned as tools that go beyond message drafting, offering coaching for "socially maladjusted" individuals through the complexities of small talk and flirtation. * **The Inauthenticity Trap:** Experts interviewed by The Washington Post agree that while AI can help get a date, "real-life human-to-human authenticity is what matters most." The concern is that AI might be creating unrealistic expectations or masking fundamental personality deficiencies that cannot be sustained. * **Widespread Application:** The article suggests that Wilson's experience is likely shared by "millions of others doing the same thing" who are unable to "back it up" in real-world encounters. ### Significant Trends and Concerns: * **Erosion of Authentic Connection:** The reliance on AI for dating communication raises concerns about the authenticity of connections being formed and the potential for disappointment when the AI-generated facade crumbles. * **Setting Unrealistic Standards:** AI-generated perfection can set an unattainable standard for both the user and their potential partners, leading to frustration and failed relationships. * **The "Foot in the Door" Phenomenon:** AI is effective at the initial stages of dating app communication but fails to provide the necessary skills for sustained human interaction. ### Recommendations (Implied): While not explicitly stated as recommendations, the article strongly implies that **authenticity and genuine personality are crucial for successful dating**. Users are cautioned against over-reliance on AI, as it can lead to a disconnect between online persona and real-life capabilities. ### Numerical Data and Context: * **Age of Case Study:** Richard Wilson is **31 years old**. This detail provides a demographic context for the individual experiencing the AI dating phenomenon. * **Content Length:** The article's content length is **1924 characters**. This indicates a moderately detailed report. * **Published Date:** The article was published on **July 10, 2025**. This provides the timeframe for the reported trend. In essence, the news highlights a new challenge in modern dating: the deceptive power of AI in crafting appealing online personas that ultimately fail to translate into meaningful, authentic human connections in person.

People Are Using AI to Flirt on Dating Apps—Then Disappointing Their Dates

Read original at Vice Media

The Washington Post reports on a delightfully stupid revelation that is only just dawning on some people in the dating scene: people who are using ChatGPT and other AI chatbots to write charming and witty texts that land them some dates are finding that they cannot replicate that same charm and wit in person.

One of the feature article’s central players is a 31-year-old named Richard Wilson. He exchanged long, thoughtful messages with someone who seemed delightful, caring, and thoughtful. And then they met in person, and it was a disaster. The person could not maintain a simple one-on-one in-person conversation to save their life.

Videos by VICEDating apps like Hinge and Tinder are saying that AI can help people who are “too busy, shy, or abrasive to win dates.” Third-party apps like Rizz and Wing AI go even further, crafting messages and coaching the socially maladjusted through the treacherous horrors of small talk and basic flirtation.

But none of that stuff translates into the real world. Dating isn’t a video game where you exchange a few messages, raise a character’s progress bar, and then you’re married with three kids a couple of hours later.Is Your Dating App Match Using a Chatbot to Flirt With You?Experts interviewed by the post agree: AI might get your foot in the door.

But ultimately, real-life human-to-human authenticity is what matters most. AI creates perfect versions of people that have all the edges smoothed off. This is either making your horrendous personality falsely palatable or establishing a too-high standard you cannot currently reach in real life. Maybe no one can.

Wilson went on a second date with this person. All it did was confirm that their outsourcing of their personality was too obvious. Not one bit of the person in the texts was there in real life. AI was doing the talking for them, and they—and probably millions of others doing the same thing—couldn’t back it up.

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